It wasn't too late

My family has fond memories of traveling to Cagayan de Oro and until I went to college, we used to go there together. My mother usually goes there to visit family members during important ocassions like our grandpa's death anniversary and fiestas.

As our family roots come from Bohol, on both my parents' side, it's understandable that May fiestas are important dates to look forward to, probably just next to Christmas. The trip usually starts from Cagayan de Oro and an overnight ferry ride to the island province is all it takes to get there. In one of those occasions my mother met one of my father's relatives, aunt Sylvia.

Upon learning that she married a Chinese man, I conceived in my mind that she must be well-off and therefore an opportunity for my mother to ask for help. We have been saddled with debts left and right and we even sold our little shop in the market to augment our studies. So aunt Silvia must be rich and compassionate enough to help us. She used to work at Zenco Footstep and now must just be staying at home taking care of children.

My mother really appealed to her for help. But when I learned she refused because she is also struggling with daily financial concerns, I felt we must be on the same boat.

After school I went to Cagayan de Oro after working in Davao City for three years. My office was in Carmen, where aunt Silvia's family live. Without wasting time, I came to pay a visit. My perception of a bungalow house with an old but decent car in the garage long vanished but as I came there I did not realize they were in the situation that is similar to us. There she was, smiling as she whisked me to come inside and take something to eat.

"Thanks, I just had lunch at Coralles, and will be heading to office soon", I told her on that Saturday afternoon.

She is the younger sister of my uncle Max who is also very dear to me. Uncle Max, apart from Gary Jaravata or Raul Ramirez, provided me refuge in Manila during my jobhunting days.

She has a son who is taking nautical studies and hopes to land a job in an ocean going vessel when he is done with school. When told about staying at uncle Max's during his Manila practicum, he told us "uncle Max is strict". I told him, "No, he maybe strict but as far as I am concerned, I liked the way he treats me. Just be honest to him. Don't be shy. I used to sleep on their dining room when I went to Manila".

As aunt Silvia looked at her son, I see the hope etched on her eyes, probably imagining that Junior will soon be a ship officer, with his neatly pressed white uniform and freshly trimmed hair, overseeing the unloading of cargo somehwere in the Far East. It was not long before I bid goodbye and promised to return since my office is just a walking distance.

But my promise never materialized. I somehow drifted away. Barely a month after that first and only acquaintance with aunt Silvia, I was assigned in Manila to work for a month. And when I returned to Cagayan de Oro, I filed my resignation with plans of moving to Manila. I can still recall my papa Lito, whose place I was staying at the time, helping me fix my hanging closet, feeling sentimental of leaving the place I started to feel comfortable with. I had to move on. With tight schedule I left Cagayan de Oro at night, unable to bid goodbye to my other relatives, aunts, uncles, nephews and neices. The following morning I am in Davao, preparing my flight to Manila.

I was proudly telling uncle Max what transpired during my visit to his sister's house and even jokingly told him not to be strict to his nephews. Uncle Max is my father's cousin so even with a little more distant parental lineage, I am grateful for him, aunt Thelma and the family's hospitality.

It wasn't long again before I embarked on a trip to Hong Kong. Days passed and I seemed to lose contact with them, as my lifestyle changed, more concerns to attend to, more activities to pursue, more things to do.

My cousin April, uncle Max's daughter told me one day that aunt Silvia has cancer, and it's on terminal stage. I immediately told my folks in Davao to contact them and offer help when we can.

I was busy telling her about my trip to Singapore last year when her reply was totally out of sync and saddened me: aunt Silvia passed away on November 11, more than four years since we met. I haven't been that very close but somehow, seeing her in person was enough to warrant beautiful memories.

She may not see a recent photo of her son on his smoothly pressed uniform personally but she will be glad to see any successes he will achieve. It won't be easy to live without a mother but her efforts of sending her child to school should be enough to inspire every child out there.

I believe that every meeting with someone is very special. A friend, a parent, a high school bully, an old office's security guard or your favorite saleslady at a shirt shop. Learning from my personal experience in meeting aunt Sylvia, I will not know if I am meeting a friend, a colleague or a relative for the last time. We have one short lifespan and in this life we share our goals, happiness and fears. Isn't it nice to share a burden with a friend willing to carry it with you?

But if that friend is gone forever...